Exercising ...not not that kind....exercising your right to vote!

Yesterday I went to vote early.  I thought, hey I'll avoid the lines, and get in before the craziness of election day.  That way if something happens I don't miss my chance.  I'm so glad to be wrong!

The line was long, very long.  This made me so proud, I almost feel like breaking into a chorus or to of Lee Greenwoods "God Bless the USA".    I wish it didn't take a failing economy to make Americans get out and vote, but I'm glad they are!   

Now as I said yesterday hubby and I went to vote the lines were long and it was starting to rain so we went and had lunch thinking  "folk will leave since is going to rain, and once lunch time is over lines will be shorter"   LOL again we were wrong!   We got back after lunch and stood in line for 30 minutes in the rain to vote.  Then we found out that the wait was almost 3 hours!  LOL  W e left because we couldn't be that late getting home.  And we had no umbrella!  Paul actually managed to go back out and vote at another location near by and get his vote in.   I will be going back on Monday to vote, with a book and umbrella in hand!  

If you are sitting there thinking....ah well such and such is going to win...he is leading in the polls, or well my vote doesn't really matter...think again!   This year this race is going to be one of the most important and possibly one of the biggest in history.   Don't think your vote doesn't count, don't assume your guy will win.  Exercise your right to vote!   And if you don't ....don't whine to me about your taxes, your lost job, your health care or anything else that might be effected by current or future elected officials.  

No matter who wins, we are in a recession its not going to change over night, even with a new guy sitting in the big chair.   But we can't bury our heads in the sand and hope it all goes away, we have been doing that for 8 years LOL.  I'm ready for some change, how about you?

Who owns ya!

Ya know with the current economic climate not only here in the USA but world wide, it makes ya wonder "Who owns ya?"  I mean  a hurricane blows through and here in the southeast we can't buy gas, and we we do find it we have to wait in long lines and pay way to much.   The stock market goes to pot, and companies are needing bailing out by the gov or they go belly up.   The FDIC is making back room deals forcing companies to take deals with others.   At the end of the day who owns you.   My husband Paul works for one of the banks the FDIC has been fiddling with. First news was, we were bought....then no no its not in writing yet the shareholders have to vote still.  Then  OH  no...another bank has bought, and now the first bank is suing.    But in the end, do I really care who owns me or is it just if they keep me.   

 Personally as our family struggles with the economic burdens the economy is throwing us with everything costing more and paychecks not going up, we feel as if we have been through the ringer.  But at the end of the day, we are grateful to whoever it is that owns us and has decided to keep us another day!  But we are just one family in a larger picture.  Who really owns us all?  Who can pull the plug and send us all spiralling down?

Queen City and the Pip squad

It's interesting that Charlotte's nick name is the "Queen City" especially considering it has been recently named in the annual list of top 10 "gay ghettos".   Charlotte placed third followed by Raleigh in fourth on the list of the top LBT cities in America.  Apparently its our great arts funding and the fact that we are the countries second banking centers are big draws.   But they fall in love with our NoDa neighborhood, south end area, and of course our growing sleek urban downtown living.    

As time approaches for the Pride Charlotte, I really hope that we don't get the side affects of being named third.  Mainly in the form of protestors that attend the Pride festival just try to force their beliefs and views down everyones throats.    This is one of the reasons I signed up to be a Partner in Peace.

Partners in Peace are volunteers wearing bright color vests with lovely rainbow flags that are spread out throughout the Pride festival to provide a buffer for peace wherever protestors may be voicing unwelcome proclamations.   We are not there to counter protest.  We hope to diffuse confrontations before they can cause any disturbance of the festival.  We will encourage festival goers to ignore the protestors, and not engage in arguments with them.   If someone is being harassed then we will peacefully step in being careful not to provoke either side.    

I think this will be a real challenge for me in many ways.  I think the thing I will have to remind myself many times on the day of Pride is that the protestors are scared.   They are scared of what they do not understand, and of what they think to be an affront to their religion.   Most of these people that are standing on the street corner would NEVER dream of acting this way any other time.   These are our neighbors, pta moms, and even teachers.   While I don't have to agree in their beliefs I will have to remember they have the right to believe them.   

You know someday I'd like to meet the person that first coined the childhood phrase "sticks and stones may hurt me but words never will".   I'm telling you, words are powerful, and can be as damaging as a sword in many ways.   I hope some day these protestors look at what they are doing in this way.   I hope they see that while they believe one thing hiding behind their religion in order to do violence (yeah i believe the verbal attacks are violent) is wrong and is not what I've ever intturpeted any religious faith to promote.  

Until then, we will be needed...the PIP squad :)

Birth order, bullshit or not?

I recently read an article on birth order.  It was an older issue of Time, so generally I take what I read there to be rather accurate.   I was surprised at how accurate I found some parts of the article.  

They had three basic birth order profiles.  The oldest, the middle and the youngest.  Oldest siblings are usually better educated and more likely to hold a professional position.  They are more concerned with meeting parents' expectations and tend to serve as the family historian and guardian of aged parents.   They tend to have an higher IQ as well.

Middle siblings tend to take longer to choose a career, tend to be less connected to family and my de-identify with oldest by making opposite life choices.  They usually lack parental recognition that older and younger siblings enjoy and may develop self esteem issues.

Younger siblings are more tolerant of risk.  They are more likely to be an artist, adventurer or an entrepreneur.  They are often frequently smaller than firstborns, and tend to be the comedian in the family.

My husband and I are both older siblings, and I can say we fit some of the descriptions.  I and my husband both have more education than our younger siblings, we both have done more professional things career wise, and we both have been the care givers at different times to our parents.   Now neither of us are "bigger" in size than younger siblings, but in my case that is a good thing, my brother is 6'3" and 280lbs, I don't think that would be a great look for me LOL. 

I do see that both of our younger siblings are the comedians in the groups, and both of our younger siblings are bit riskier in their activities than we are.

Looking at my girls I again see a lot of this.   My oldest is very smart, and things educationally come easier to her than the youngest.  For the rest of it, its still wait and see.  I'm hoping the youngest steps up to care giver role though as the oldest has stated she is putting us in the cheap rest home and plans to mess with our meds.  

My youngest is the comedian, she is constantly "performing".  She also is more of a risk taker and more adventurous in her activities.  Perfect example, we bought a trampoline when she was like 3.  We bought the net enclosure, because hey its safer she can't fall off right?   NO she shimmied up the the outside of the net like a monkey.  My youngest rides bikes, skateboard, roller blades, will try anything especially if the boys tell her she is too little.   I can't count how many times I've called her my "wild child".   And she is very much smaller than her older sister was at her age.  

Does this mean that we are always a product of our birth order?   I don't think so, but it does open my eyes and makes me wonder what I should do to encourage different traits that may not e typical for their birth order.  I can not believe that the order in which i plopped out of the womb can really make such a difference.   And if it does, it has to be more because of the way society and family dictate the roles.   I mean how many times as a kid was I held responsible for something my brother did, because I was older and knew better.   For that matter, how many times have I told my oldest  "You are 8 years older you can't expect her to be able to do that or know that or whatever"  or how many times have I excused the youngest for something because of the fact that she is younger.   And in those times, did my oldest have the same standard when she was the same age?  In the end I think it's more the parent and child relationship that determines what type of characteristics that the children take.   My youngest is a lot more easy going and happy go lucky than my oldest, but is that really a personality or is it just that I'm a bit more relaxed this go around?  

Still puttering along after all these years....

So I've now been married for more than half my life, and to the same man no less.   And when asked if I'd do it again my response is always a big  "YES!"  Not that its been all sunshine and roses, cause only the dating period is that, right ladies?  No, its because he's my best friend, and over the years we have learned certain things that has made this relationship work when others seem to be falling apart around us.   What are those little tidbits, you ask?  I'll share a few with you, as long as you promise not to take me or yourself too seriously.

Number one rule:  Don't marry for money...believe me when I say even those with horrible credit can borrow cheaper.   My man has expensive taste,  hey he married me didn't he.   Nah, for the most part, we agree on money...or chose to agree to disagree on money.   He likes his gadgets and gizmos and spends a fortune on them.   I spend a fortune saving him money. (read "I'm not cheap, I'm selective) for a better explanation. 

Rule number two:  Marriage is a mutual relationship ONLY if both parties know when to be mute.   This here rule really needs no explaining...but here are some things you should never ask your spouse:

1. What are you thinking?  (believe me, you don't want to know....and if he/she wants to tell you they will, most likely in a tone you don't like)

2. Do I look fat?  there is NEVER a good answer to this unless your are a super model, so don't ask.

3. Do you love me?  Um if he/she doesn't say it, you might not want to rock that boat.   I'm  a firm believer that you should tell your loved one how you feel often so as they don't ever doubt it.

4. Do you think they are sexy, hotter, prettier, etc than me?  Again this is one that should never be asked!

5. What would you do if I died?  They would be devistated and never recover!  Go on believing this, and don't think about it.  LOL  You'll be dead anyway and won't care after that.

And my final tidbit of information to impart is....  If you want a spouse to pay strict attention to what you say, you need to talk in your sleep .   Otherwise they are most likely tuning you out.   This can work to your advantage though.   I don't know how many times I've said.  "But dear I told you about this or that"  and he honestly can't say weather I did or not.  

So here is looking at another 20 years!  Just think hon, at least half of them will be without kids.  I love you Paul, thanks for being my partner in crime all these years.

Meli

Crazy Busy

This time of year is crazy busy if you have kids.  There is scout award ceremonies, dance recitals, every day swim practice, school performancies, school award ceremonies, field day, class parties, costume fittings....or is that only me?   Even though there has been craziness, I got to go out for a girls night recently.  Had a great time, but let me tell you, I am great at being a wall flower.  We went to Coyote Joes, a rather popular country line dancing bar here in Charlotte.   It was ladies night and drinks were half price, need I say more.  Okay, now add to that equation a bunch of ladies that have been losing or lost a significant amount of weight and it might just spell trouble...with a capital T.    There was the mechanical bull, no I didn't ride it but it is now on my list of things to do.  Three of the ladies rode the bull, not too long granted...but hey I think at least one of them might have potential with a bit more practice.  And of course, with a country bar, there is line dancing.   Now I'm not very good with organized dancing, unorganized for that matter either, but I gave it try.   I didn't last but until they started turning...and with it I realized I would soon be a danger to myself and others and joined he other wallflowers at that the table.   I think I had as much fun watching the girls dancing with the regulars, and when not knowing the steps doing a pretty good job of ab libbing.  Of course that is where Mr Napoleon Dynamite comes in.  Yep he was at the bar...well at least someone doing a pretty good imitation of him.  He knew all the dances, but if there was a little tail wiggle or a hip thrust involved he was 10 times more expressive than anyone else on the floor.  I swore that by day he was an IT specialist, and no one had a clue that in his off time he was living this crazy country western persona.   I wish I could have gotten him on tape, I could watch him on You tube all day.  And then there was the kissing....she blamed it on the drinks, but I do believe she started kissing before she even had one.  Oh and there wasn't a cowboy in there that hadn't noticed her by nights end I'm sure.  One of these days, I hope to have half that confidence.

How may yous can you be?

Have you ever thought about how the people in your world and circles view you?  I was recently thinking about this.  So many of my friends only know one side of my personality.   There are so few people I know or associate with that see me for all that I am.   Some wouldn't accept all that I am.   Why is this?   Why are we all so judgmental of one another?  Why do differences in beliefs, lifestyles, and values really bother us so much?  Is it because we think we are threatened by others differences?  Wouldn't it be boring if we were all the same?  I know so many questions and I really have no true answers.  I could lie and say, from this day forward that I will always just be myself and fuck those that can't accept it.   But I know I won't.   I'll continue to bite my tongue in so many ways.   And the friends that can't accept everything about me, the friends that are so gay a phobic that think its horrible that I would go to pride.   Or the friends that would be horrified to learn that I don't believe in God, or the friends that know and think its a phase I'm just going through.   I won't confess all my differences from my friends here, because as I pointed out, its amazing how judgmental your friends could be.   Just think on this though, do you really know your friends, are you so set in your beliefs that they are afraid to be who they are with you?  And if this is so, are you really friends?