The US Department of Education reported in 2005 that, “By 2010 it is estimated that nearly sixty two percent of students over the age of twenty five enrolled in a degree granting institutions will be women.” With the current economy, it is becoming increasingly necessary for more women, who were once stay-at-home moms, to work outside the home to help provide for their families. I am one those moms returning to school. Except for a brief career in real estate, I have been a stay-at-home mom for the last eighteen years. As returning to school becomes more common among middle-aged people, the overall balancing act between home life and school becomes very difficult.
My first career was in real estate, during my early twenties. I discovered that I wasn’t a great salesman, even with the strong housing market at the time. When my husband and I had our first child, we decided I would remain at home and become a full time mom. Even with the financial sacrifices, being a stay-at-home mom has been the best career I’ve ever had. Now that my kids are older and more self-sufficient and the economy has us pinching pennies more than ever, I have decided it was time to return to the land of paid employment. I spent about six months looking for employment before I realized that my employment options were limited by my lack of education. I have returned to school to learn new skill sets, thus broadening my employment options. I’m not alone in this quest.
I, like many other middle age students, found returning to school overwhelming. It didn’t take me long to realize that college had changed dramatically within the past two decades. Not only have the methods of teaching changed with the prevalence of computers and online and hybrid courses, expectations have also changed. These changes, combined with feeling out of place and somewhat intimidated by students half my age, left me feeling inadequately prepared at first. Almost two months in, I’m still struggling with perfectionism issues, stress over missed test answers, and making sure that I have everything organized and ready to go before each class.
Another challenge for me and many other older students is that we already have full-time commitments. Based on the U.S. Bureau of the Census, in 2004, over half of married couples held the status of “dual income earner couples”. Fifty six percent of those couples had children under the age of 18. Finding time for spouses, children, and work can be extremely stressful. For women, especially, this can mean a major shift in family roles and responsibilities. I went from being the one that took the kids to all their activities, cooked dinner, did all the shopping, and kept the house in order, to being the one that is always studying. My husband and children have managed to pick up the slack. My husband now cooks more often than I do and my kids help out even more with the household chores. My oldest daughter has even taken on the responsibility of driving my youngest to dance class occasionally. I find myself mourning the loss of control of these everyday household responsibilities. It has become necessary to schedule one-on-one time with my husband and girls. I even find myself missing our family dog! Returning to school was a family decision and it is taking the support and understanding of the entire family to make it work.
Financially, returning to school is another burden, even though it’s a necessary one. Just the cost of tuition and books was enough to make me sweat. Additional expenses I hadn’t initially considered, such as the cost of calculators, book bags, extra gas for the car, clothes, and the occasional take out, caused even more stress. The financial burden quickly became greater than I had first imagined. Many adults returning to school have to leave current jobs, which can further add to their financial burden. Of course, these burdens are only one side of going back to school.
Finally, many potential benefits exist when older students return to school. Younger students can benefit from older student’s life experiences in discussions. The difference in perceptions between older and younger students often leads to better insights from both groups. For many adults, women in particular, returning to school can be a rewarding turning point in their lives. Personal growth and self-discovery often lead to increased self-image and self esteem. Gaining new social connections and having increased opportunities in the job market are some of the many positive effects of returning to school.
Unquestionably, the changes and challenges of returning to school can be very rewarding. I believe that the solid support structure I receive from my husband and kids is going to be the key to my succeeding as an older student. In the end, going back to school in one’s thirties, forties, and beyond can be one of the best decisions a person will make. I am certainly glad I made it.
