Birth order, bullshit or not?

I recently read an article on birth order.  It was an older issue of Time, so generally I take what I read there to be rather accurate.   I was surprised at how accurate I found some parts of the article.  

They had three basic birth order profiles.  The oldest, the middle and the youngest.  Oldest siblings are usually better educated and more likely to hold a professional position.  They are more concerned with meeting parents' expectations and tend to serve as the family historian and guardian of aged parents.   They tend to have an higher IQ as well.

Middle siblings tend to take longer to choose a career, tend to be less connected to family and my de-identify with oldest by making opposite life choices.  They usually lack parental recognition that older and younger siblings enjoy and may develop self esteem issues.

Younger siblings are more tolerant of risk.  They are more likely to be an artist, adventurer or an entrepreneur.  They are often frequently smaller than firstborns, and tend to be the comedian in the family.

My husband and I are both older siblings, and I can say we fit some of the descriptions.  I and my husband both have more education than our younger siblings, we both have done more professional things career wise, and we both have been the care givers at different times to our parents.   Now neither of us are "bigger" in size than younger siblings, but in my case that is a good thing, my brother is 6'3" and 280lbs, I don't think that would be a great look for me LOL. 

I do see that both of our younger siblings are the comedians in the groups, and both of our younger siblings are bit riskier in their activities than we are.

Looking at my girls I again see a lot of this.   My oldest is very smart, and things educationally come easier to her than the youngest.  For the rest of it, its still wait and see.  I'm hoping the youngest steps up to care giver role though as the oldest has stated she is putting us in the cheap rest home and plans to mess with our meds.  

My youngest is the comedian, she is constantly "performing".  She also is more of a risk taker and more adventurous in her activities.  Perfect example, we bought a trampoline when she was like 3.  We bought the net enclosure, because hey its safer she can't fall off right?   NO she shimmied up the the outside of the net like a monkey.  My youngest rides bikes, skateboard, roller blades, will try anything especially if the boys tell her she is too little.   I can't count how many times I've called her my "wild child".   And she is very much smaller than her older sister was at her age.  

Does this mean that we are always a product of our birth order?   I don't think so, but it does open my eyes and makes me wonder what I should do to encourage different traits that may not e typical for their birth order.  I can not believe that the order in which i plopped out of the womb can really make such a difference.   And if it does, it has to be more because of the way society and family dictate the roles.   I mean how many times as a kid was I held responsible for something my brother did, because I was older and knew better.   For that matter, how many times have I told my oldest  "You are 8 years older you can't expect her to be able to do that or know that or whatever"  or how many times have I excused the youngest for something because of the fact that she is younger.   And in those times, did my oldest have the same standard when she was the same age?  In the end I think it's more the parent and child relationship that determines what type of characteristics that the children take.   My youngest is a lot more easy going and happy go lucky than my oldest, but is that really a personality or is it just that I'm a bit more relaxed this go around?  

Still puttering along after all these years....

So I've now been married for more than half my life, and to the same man no less.   And when asked if I'd do it again my response is always a big  "YES!"  Not that its been all sunshine and roses, cause only the dating period is that, right ladies?  No, its because he's my best friend, and over the years we have learned certain things that has made this relationship work when others seem to be falling apart around us.   What are those little tidbits, you ask?  I'll share a few with you, as long as you promise not to take me or yourself too seriously.

Number one rule:  Don't marry for money...believe me when I say even those with horrible credit can borrow cheaper.   My man has expensive taste,  hey he married me didn't he.   Nah, for the most part, we agree on money...or chose to agree to disagree on money.   He likes his gadgets and gizmos and spends a fortune on them.   I spend a fortune saving him money. (read "I'm not cheap, I'm selective) for a better explanation. 

Rule number two:  Marriage is a mutual relationship ONLY if both parties know when to be mute.   This here rule really needs no explaining...but here are some things you should never ask your spouse:

1. What are you thinking?  (believe me, you don't want to know....and if he/she wants to tell you they will, most likely in a tone you don't like)

2. Do I look fat?  there is NEVER a good answer to this unless your are a super model, so don't ask.

3. Do you love me?  Um if he/she doesn't say it, you might not want to rock that boat.   I'm  a firm believer that you should tell your loved one how you feel often so as they don't ever doubt it.

4. Do you think they are sexy, hotter, prettier, etc than me?  Again this is one that should never be asked!

5. What would you do if I died?  They would be devistated and never recover!  Go on believing this, and don't think about it.  LOL  You'll be dead anyway and won't care after that.

And my final tidbit of information to impart is....  If you want a spouse to pay strict attention to what you say, you need to talk in your sleep .   Otherwise they are most likely tuning you out.   This can work to your advantage though.   I don't know how many times I've said.  "But dear I told you about this or that"  and he honestly can't say weather I did or not.  

So here is looking at another 20 years!  Just think hon, at least half of them will be without kids.  I love you Paul, thanks for being my partner in crime all these years.

Meli