Prop 8...and How marriage has changed through history.

First off, for those of you that aren't in the know or don't care to be in the know, let me tell ya what proposition 8 was about.  Prop 8, was about California amending their state constitution to restrict the legal definition of a marriage to a union between a man and a women.   Now lets look at who the major backers of this proposition were....oh no surprises the  Morman Church.  It was actually known as the marriage protection act!  More money was spent in this campaign than any other race or campaign other than the president.  

Lets look at how it was marketed to the public by to supporters:

voting YES would add exactly 14 words to the California State Constitution:

"Only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California"

Not so scary sounding right....but no they don't stop there, the go on to say:

voting no means....that children in public school will be taught that same sex marriage is just as good as traditional marriage.  Unless Prop 8 passes, school districts will be required to teach that same sex marriage is equal in every way to traditional marriage.

Hmm....this was to scare the religious conservative that believe that being gay is a sin and frighten them into action.   (hey it worked)

Churches may have their tax exempt status challenged or revoked if they publicly oppose same sex marriage or refuses to allow same sex marriage ceremonies in the religious buildings.

     OMG, we have to let them in our churchs, they will bring the devil with them we just know it!

Adoption agencies will be forced to place children with same sex couples regardless of an agency's beliefs. 

      OMG the pour children, they will have two people who love and cherish them....oh my what will we do!

Ministers who preach against same sex marriages may be sued for hate speech and risk government fines.

OH wow, we can't take away their right to teach hate ! How horrible that would be!

Everyone will pay....changing the definition of marriage will generate a flood of lawsuits which will inflict heavy legal costs upon the parties who are sued and upon their business customers.

Sue...who? what?  because ya know they aren't suing now because of their marriage or non marriage status...oh come on!

Okay, I know, marriage is traditional, its sacred, it is as old as time, its in the bible...and....oh what?  Marriage has changed ya say?  NO take it can't  be true!   What....marriage in the bible was more about "property exchange"?    You lie, the attaining of the 1st or 2nd wife was much more important than the chickens and sheep that came with her.   ...Yep folks thats right marriage is not some great tradition that has never changed, well unless ya ladies want to be"Property" of your husband.  No?  hmm, guess we have to admit that marriage isn't so traditional anymore right?  I say....if we aren't going to grant gays the right to marry based on religious reasons, then we should allow divorce bases on religious reasons.   I mean Jesus would really frown on that whole divorce thing ya know.

I've gotten pretty silly here, but it was to make a point.   This should NOT be a religious issue.   Didn't we form America while trying escape religious rule?   What happened to separation of church and state?   Why is this a religious issue?

Exercising ...not not that kind....exercising your right to vote!

Yesterday I went to vote early.  I thought, hey I'll avoid the lines, and get in before the craziness of election day.  That way if something happens I don't miss my chance.  I'm so glad to be wrong!

The line was long, very long.  This made me so proud, I almost feel like breaking into a chorus or to of Lee Greenwoods "God Bless the USA".    I wish it didn't take a failing economy to make Americans get out and vote, but I'm glad they are!   

Now as I said yesterday hubby and I went to vote the lines were long and it was starting to rain so we went and had lunch thinking  "folk will leave since is going to rain, and once lunch time is over lines will be shorter"   LOL again we were wrong!   We got back after lunch and stood in line for 30 minutes in the rain to vote.  Then we found out that the wait was almost 3 hours!  LOL  W e left because we couldn't be that late getting home.  And we had no umbrella!  Paul actually managed to go back out and vote at another location near by and get his vote in.   I will be going back on Monday to vote, with a book and umbrella in hand!  

If you are sitting there thinking....ah well such and such is going to win...he is leading in the polls, or well my vote doesn't really matter...think again!   This year this race is going to be one of the most important and possibly one of the biggest in history.   Don't think your vote doesn't count, don't assume your guy will win.  Exercise your right to vote!   And if you don't ....don't whine to me about your taxes, your lost job, your health care or anything else that might be effected by current or future elected officials.  

No matter who wins, we are in a recession its not going to change over night, even with a new guy sitting in the big chair.   But we can't bury our heads in the sand and hope it all goes away, we have been doing that for 8 years LOL.  I'm ready for some change, how about you?

Who owns ya!

Ya know with the current economic climate not only here in the USA but world wide, it makes ya wonder "Who owns ya?"  I mean  a hurricane blows through and here in the southeast we can't buy gas, and we we do find it we have to wait in long lines and pay way to much.   The stock market goes to pot, and companies are needing bailing out by the gov or they go belly up.   The FDIC is making back room deals forcing companies to take deals with others.   At the end of the day who owns you.   My husband Paul works for one of the banks the FDIC has been fiddling with. First news was, we were bought....then no no its not in writing yet the shareholders have to vote still.  Then  OH  no...another bank has bought, and now the first bank is suing.    But in the end, do I really care who owns me or is it just if they keep me.   

 Personally as our family struggles with the economic burdens the economy is throwing us with everything costing more and paychecks not going up, we feel as if we have been through the ringer.  But at the end of the day, we are grateful to whoever it is that owns us and has decided to keep us another day!  But we are just one family in a larger picture.  Who really owns us all?  Who can pull the plug and send us all spiralling down?

Queen City and the Pip squad

It's interesting that Charlotte's nick name is the "Queen City" especially considering it has been recently named in the annual list of top 10 "gay ghettos".   Charlotte placed third followed by Raleigh in fourth on the list of the top LBT cities in America.  Apparently its our great arts funding and the fact that we are the countries second banking centers are big draws.   But they fall in love with our NoDa neighborhood, south end area, and of course our growing sleek urban downtown living.    

As time approaches for the Pride Charlotte, I really hope that we don't get the side affects of being named third.  Mainly in the form of protestors that attend the Pride festival just try to force their beliefs and views down everyones throats.    This is one of the reasons I signed up to be a Partner in Peace.

Partners in Peace are volunteers wearing bright color vests with lovely rainbow flags that are spread out throughout the Pride festival to provide a buffer for peace wherever protestors may be voicing unwelcome proclamations.   We are not there to counter protest.  We hope to diffuse confrontations before they can cause any disturbance of the festival.  We will encourage festival goers to ignore the protestors, and not engage in arguments with them.   If someone is being harassed then we will peacefully step in being careful not to provoke either side.    

I think this will be a real challenge for me in many ways.  I think the thing I will have to remind myself many times on the day of Pride is that the protestors are scared.   They are scared of what they do not understand, and of what they think to be an affront to their religion.   Most of these people that are standing on the street corner would NEVER dream of acting this way any other time.   These are our neighbors, pta moms, and even teachers.   While I don't have to agree in their beliefs I will have to remember they have the right to believe them.   

You know someday I'd like to meet the person that first coined the childhood phrase "sticks and stones may hurt me but words never will".   I'm telling you, words are powerful, and can be as damaging as a sword in many ways.   I hope some day these protestors look at what they are doing in this way.   I hope they see that while they believe one thing hiding behind their religion in order to do violence (yeah i believe the verbal attacks are violent) is wrong and is not what I've ever intturpeted any religious faith to promote.  

Until then, we will be needed...the PIP squad :)

Birth order, bullshit or not?

I recently read an article on birth order.  It was an older issue of Time, so generally I take what I read there to be rather accurate.   I was surprised at how accurate I found some parts of the article.  

They had three basic birth order profiles.  The oldest, the middle and the youngest.  Oldest siblings are usually better educated and more likely to hold a professional position.  They are more concerned with meeting parents' expectations and tend to serve as the family historian and guardian of aged parents.   They tend to have an higher IQ as well.

Middle siblings tend to take longer to choose a career, tend to be less connected to family and my de-identify with oldest by making opposite life choices.  They usually lack parental recognition that older and younger siblings enjoy and may develop self esteem issues.

Younger siblings are more tolerant of risk.  They are more likely to be an artist, adventurer or an entrepreneur.  They are often frequently smaller than firstborns, and tend to be the comedian in the family.

My husband and I are both older siblings, and I can say we fit some of the descriptions.  I and my husband both have more education than our younger siblings, we both have done more professional things career wise, and we both have been the care givers at different times to our parents.   Now neither of us are "bigger" in size than younger siblings, but in my case that is a good thing, my brother is 6'3" and 280lbs, I don't think that would be a great look for me LOL. 

I do see that both of our younger siblings are the comedians in the groups, and both of our younger siblings are bit riskier in their activities than we are.

Looking at my girls I again see a lot of this.   My oldest is very smart, and things educationally come easier to her than the youngest.  For the rest of it, its still wait and see.  I'm hoping the youngest steps up to care giver role though as the oldest has stated she is putting us in the cheap rest home and plans to mess with our meds.  

My youngest is the comedian, she is constantly "performing".  She also is more of a risk taker and more adventurous in her activities.  Perfect example, we bought a trampoline when she was like 3.  We bought the net enclosure, because hey its safer she can't fall off right?   NO she shimmied up the the outside of the net like a monkey.  My youngest rides bikes, skateboard, roller blades, will try anything especially if the boys tell her she is too little.   I can't count how many times I've called her my "wild child".   And she is very much smaller than her older sister was at her age.  

Does this mean that we are always a product of our birth order?   I don't think so, but it does open my eyes and makes me wonder what I should do to encourage different traits that may not e typical for their birth order.  I can not believe that the order in which i plopped out of the womb can really make such a difference.   And if it does, it has to be more because of the way society and family dictate the roles.   I mean how many times as a kid was I held responsible for something my brother did, because I was older and knew better.   For that matter, how many times have I told my oldest  "You are 8 years older you can't expect her to be able to do that or know that or whatever"  or how many times have I excused the youngest for something because of the fact that she is younger.   And in those times, did my oldest have the same standard when she was the same age?  In the end I think it's more the parent and child relationship that determines what type of characteristics that the children take.   My youngest is a lot more easy going and happy go lucky than my oldest, but is that really a personality or is it just that I'm a bit more relaxed this go around?  

Still puttering along after all these years....

So I've now been married for more than half my life, and to the same man no less.   And when asked if I'd do it again my response is always a big  "YES!"  Not that its been all sunshine and roses, cause only the dating period is that, right ladies?  No, its because he's my best friend, and over the years we have learned certain things that has made this relationship work when others seem to be falling apart around us.   What are those little tidbits, you ask?  I'll share a few with you, as long as you promise not to take me or yourself too seriously.

Number one rule:  Don't marry for money...believe me when I say even those with horrible credit can borrow cheaper.   My man has expensive taste,  hey he married me didn't he.   Nah, for the most part, we agree on money...or chose to agree to disagree on money.   He likes his gadgets and gizmos and spends a fortune on them.   I spend a fortune saving him money. (read "I'm not cheap, I'm selective) for a better explanation. 

Rule number two:  Marriage is a mutual relationship ONLY if both parties know when to be mute.   This here rule really needs no explaining...but here are some things you should never ask your spouse:

1. What are you thinking?  (believe me, you don't want to know....and if he/she wants to tell you they will, most likely in a tone you don't like)

2. Do I look fat?  there is NEVER a good answer to this unless your are a super model, so don't ask.

3. Do you love me?  Um if he/she doesn't say it, you might not want to rock that boat.   I'm  a firm believer that you should tell your loved one how you feel often so as they don't ever doubt it.

4. Do you think they are sexy, hotter, prettier, etc than me?  Again this is one that should never be asked!

5. What would you do if I died?  They would be devistated and never recover!  Go on believing this, and don't think about it.  LOL  You'll be dead anyway and won't care after that.

And my final tidbit of information to impart is....  If you want a spouse to pay strict attention to what you say, you need to talk in your sleep .   Otherwise they are most likely tuning you out.   This can work to your advantage though.   I don't know how many times I've said.  "But dear I told you about this or that"  and he honestly can't say weather I did or not.  

So here is looking at another 20 years!  Just think hon, at least half of them will be without kids.  I love you Paul, thanks for being my partner in crime all these years.

Meli

Crazy Busy

This time of year is crazy busy if you have kids.  There is scout award ceremonies, dance recitals, every day swim practice, school performancies, school award ceremonies, field day, class parties, costume fittings....or is that only me?   Even though there has been craziness, I got to go out for a girls night recently.  Had a great time, but let me tell you, I am great at being a wall flower.  We went to Coyote Joes, a rather popular country line dancing bar here in Charlotte.   It was ladies night and drinks were half price, need I say more.  Okay, now add to that equation a bunch of ladies that have been losing or lost a significant amount of weight and it might just spell trouble...with a capital T.    There was the mechanical bull, no I didn't ride it but it is now on my list of things to do.  Three of the ladies rode the bull, not too long granted...but hey I think at least one of them might have potential with a bit more practice.  And of course, with a country bar, there is line dancing.   Now I'm not very good with organized dancing, unorganized for that matter either, but I gave it try.   I didn't last but until they started turning...and with it I realized I would soon be a danger to myself and others and joined he other wallflowers at that the table.   I think I had as much fun watching the girls dancing with the regulars, and when not knowing the steps doing a pretty good job of ab libbing.  Of course that is where Mr Napoleon Dynamite comes in.  Yep he was at the bar...well at least someone doing a pretty good imitation of him.  He knew all the dances, but if there was a little tail wiggle or a hip thrust involved he was 10 times more expressive than anyone else on the floor.  I swore that by day he was an IT specialist, and no one had a clue that in his off time he was living this crazy country western persona.   I wish I could have gotten him on tape, I could watch him on You tube all day.  And then there was the kissing....she blamed it on the drinks, but I do believe she started kissing before she even had one.  Oh and there wasn't a cowboy in there that hadn't noticed her by nights end I'm sure.  One of these days, I hope to have half that confidence.

How may yous can you be?

Have you ever thought about how the people in your world and circles view you?  I was recently thinking about this.  So many of my friends only know one side of my personality.   There are so few people I know or associate with that see me for all that I am.   Some wouldn't accept all that I am.   Why is this?   Why are we all so judgmental of one another?  Why do differences in beliefs, lifestyles, and values really bother us so much?  Is it because we think we are threatened by others differences?  Wouldn't it be boring if we were all the same?  I know so many questions and I really have no true answers.  I could lie and say, from this day forward that I will always just be myself and fuck those that can't accept it.   But I know I won't.   I'll continue to bite my tongue in so many ways.   And the friends that can't accept everything about me, the friends that are so gay a phobic that think its horrible that I would go to pride.   Or the friends that would be horrified to learn that I don't believe in God, or the friends that know and think its a phase I'm just going through.   I won't confess all my differences from my friends here, because as I pointed out, its amazing how judgmental your friends could be.   Just think on this though, do you really know your friends, are you so set in your beliefs that they are afraid to be who they are with you?  And if this is so, are you really friends?

Religion Yikes! (yep I'm going there.)

I recently had someone ask me if Unitarian Universalist was some kind of cult.  Yeah, seriously someone asked me that.    So yet again, I try to explain the unexplainable to someone that believes in one faith, one god and everything else is false mentality.  It is very frustrating believe me.   It becomes very hard to explain when you know how diverse the beliefs in UU congregations are.  Where else will you go and find pagans, christians, Buddhist, atheist, agnostics, jews and more all together for spiritual fellowship?  Our children learn about ALL religions in religious education because we feel its important that they learn about them and respect the rights of those that follow them to do so.

There are 7 basic principals that Unitarians Universalist all adhere too that bond us together:

1. The inherent worth and dignity of every person (in other words, each person is important)

2. justice,  equity and compassion in human relations ( be kind in all you do)

3. acceptance of one another and encouragement of spiritual growth (we are free to learn together)

4. a free and responsible search for truth and meaning (we search for what is true)

5. the right of conscience and the use of democratic process in our congregations and society (all people should have a voice)

6. the goal of world community with peace, liberty and justice for all (build a fair and peaceful world)

7. respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are all part. (take care of the earth and those that share it with us)

Does this sound like a cult?  Ahhhh but what about God.... Heaven ..  Hell ....gulp... the Devil.

Well this is sticky and hard to explain to someone that only believes one faith, or that only one faith can be true.   There is a joke...

"Why can't UU's sing?" ......... because they are always reading ahead to make sure they agree with the words.

As every UU congregation is different, every UU is different.   It is not our common belief in one specific god, or one specific doctrine that binds us together but the belief that we should all have that freedom to believe what we do and to do the best unto the world and the people in it.  Its our belief that even though we don't share the exact same thoughts, we can still learn from one another and work together to make a community that we are proud of.

Okay, I still haven't addressed what the person who asked "Is it a cult?" was really asking.   They were wanting to know basically how "moral" I was by comparing my personal beliefs with theirs, theirs of course being the bench mark for all that is moral.   

My beliefs are not concrete cut and dry facts to be layed out, so it is always hard for me to explain the concept to someone who believes that there is one god, in the sky, looking down guiding their every move and decision.  In some ways I wish I did believe in a god such as this, at one point in my life I did, life was simple then.  Everything was easily explained by "Its god will" or "God will know".   A lot more things were black and white, good and evil, heaven or hell.   Things are not always as cut and dry for me these days.

God:  I believe that all things are connected, me and you, the land and trees, everything.  I think it is this EVERYTHING that is the true power or spiritual seat.  I believe that all deities of the different religions are representative of that power.  Thats why I believe so many religions and so many Gods that are so different on the surface are essentially the same when you get down to their core beliefs and morals.

Heaven:  I'm not one to believe that there is a physical place such as heaven.  I believe it is more representative of connection we all share.   When one life ends another begins.  I believe our time on earth is but a small blink of time for us, but our souls continue on mingling with each other being kinda of recycled throughout history.   As they mingle with other souls through life experiences and friendships they grow and evolve, much the same as we humans have said to.

Hell:  As I don't believe there is physical heaven, it would be kind of funny if I believed in a physical hell.  I think hell is representative of our set backs our souls sometimes make when we don't live life with the respect of ourselves and others.

Bible:  I joke that my bible is on the shelf with the other mythology.   I don't mean any disrespect by this though.   I think its a great read.  (yes I have read it)  It has many good lessons and teachings.  But do I think this is the only religious book of such?  No.   There are many good lessons and teachings to be learned from all religions, why limit ourselves to one, why can only one be right?  I greatly admire the man that Jesus was, as I do Gandhi and many more great people in history.

I guess what I'm trying to accomplish here is not your conversion to my beliefs, but your acceptance that I have the right to believe what I do.  Your acceptance that I have morals, that you are not some how better than me.   

Is that so much to ask?

Politically Incorrect

It is amazing to me that a number of people I KNOW that are not voting in the primary.   I got a couple of  "It's just the primary"  HUH, WHAT?  Has NO one been paying attention.  With one of the closest Democratic races in like...before my time, every vote counts.   Now all my friends that plan to vote Republican, I could care less if you go vote or not.   If you are too lazy to vote just know this....next year, when you are fussing about gas prices, the war, the cost of groceries, insurance issues, or the quality of your kid's education, know that you will be lucky if I don't go ballistic on your butt.   I am so tired of people that fuss, but then don't research what the candidates are about, don't even know who their local officials are, aren't even registered to vote complaining.  Guess what, you don't vote, you have NO right to complain.   Thats the same as you not paying your cable bill, and then bitching because you have nothing to watch.   Now if you vote, and your candidate doesn't win you get the right to point out for the next four years to let everyone know how YOU didn't vote for such and such and how such and such is screwing up EVERYTHING.   That is how America works ya know.

Monogamy, yeah right.

I've been reading a lot of posts about the recent raid in Texas.   I find it interesting that so many people are bent out of shape about the polygamy part of it more than some of the other aspects.   If it was just the fact that they had more than one wife, I'd say leave them alone...who cares.   The things that I disagree with is the whole religious craziness.  And the fact that these kids are brain washed into thinking they HAVE to marry young, or marry someone five times their age.     What if Polygamy was made legal?

Oh there are those that think that it would tarnish traditional marriage, usually the same people that fight gay marriage.   Let the religious right keep marriage...call it something else.  Call it a union...or a partnership, or whatever if that is what they are all bent out of shape about.  Lets face it folks, how sacred is marriage.  Let us be honest.  How many marriages end in divorce these days?  How many of the remaining marriages can say they were completely monogamous?  We live in a country where baby mommas, baby daddies an ex and step are an everyday occurrence.   We also live in a country where sexually transmitted disease is rampant.  At least poly groups are open and honest with each other about whom they are sleeping with.  While alot of supposal monogamous couples are out screwing around in secret and bringing all that back to unexpected spouses.    

Now do go attacking me, I think children being forced into marriage and kids and wives living in fear is WRONG.  Maybe if we legalized group marriage, these people wouldn't have to "hide" from the world.   If they weren't hiding it would be easier to monitor their behavior.    Did we really have the right to go in and take all these children, rip them from their families.  Yes, there were some children that were abused, and we need to step in and make sure they are protected, but you can't convience me that all of the 400 plus children were abused.   Well unless you reason that religious brainwashing is abuse, but be careful there, because there are a lot of children in the world that religiously brainwashed.  This would be like someone coming in your community and because there were some children in the community that were abused all the children in the community were taken in the protective custody. 

 So what is so wrong about polygamy?  It seems a better alternative to some of the relationships I have been witness to.  Me I'll stick to the status quo..I'm not sure I could handle the stress of having to deal with extra spouses.

 

Who's your daddy?

It's funny the things your kids will say, and usually when you least expect it.  No neither of my children have questioned their parentage...   yet.    But yesterday during dinner my eight year old is talking with her eight year old best friend when she abruptly looked at her dad and asked "Who will be my step dad?"  Of course our first reaction is to look at this child we accredit with so much intelligence with a dumb founded look, it's a look we seem to be using more and more these days.  Her dad recovers and responds, "You won't have a step dad ever!"  To which the best friend chirps in and says  "Believe me you don't want a stepmom or dad, I have a stepmom, you don't want her."  The go back to eating and the conversation goes on to include, how healthy milk is, even though it has calories, and that veggies and fruits are good for you too even though they have calories too.   But of course that part of the conversation is a blog for another day in itself.  Let's get back to good old step dad.

As I thought of the question, I began to see that it really wasn't that absurd of a question after all.  Just because I come from a family that hasn't seen a divorce doesn't mean it hasn't become the standard.   How many people do I actually know that are actually in a "traditional" family.  And can we really say what is traditional anymore?  My own kids have several "sets" or "pairings" of grandparents.  There is Grandma and Grandpa (my parents), there is Granny and Granddad (hubby's mom and step dad), there is Opa (hubby's dad) and Oma Donna and Opa Dave (hubby's step mom and hubby).   And it is major crime in my kids eyes if you accidently refer to one of the grandparents by the wrong title.  On reflection it seems most of our friends are in non traditional families.   We have the whole variety it seems, gay parents, step parents, single parents, and adoptive parents.  Does this mean any one of our friends is a better or worse parent than us.  Nope.  It does question your idea of what is the norm now.   So questions such as "Who will my step dad be?" maybe isn't so outrageous after all.

My dog has OCD?

Recently I went with a friend to take her cat into the vet.  While sitting in the waiting room we were talking about how much Iggy really liked the new laser light she had just bought him.   Now this isn't the first laser light that Iggy has had.  We used to use one all the time when we didn't have a fence for our yard.  On cold winter mornings when we just too warm and lazy to take the dog out on a leash, we used the laser light to keep him in the yard.  It is amazingly effective.  For those of you that have dogs, but aren't fenced in, this is an awesome alternative to standing in the cold while your dog christens ever bush, tree and stump in the yard.  

Anyway the receptionist over heard the conversation, and said that she had seen on animal planet that you shouldn't use laser lights with dogs, but it was okay with cats.   When I asked why, she said she wasn't sure, but it had something to do with the fact that cats will forget but dogs won't.   I thought this over for a bit, wondering why it mattered that dogs didn't forget.  When we were in with the vet I asked him.   He kinda of laughed and said it causes dogs to have OCD.  Apparently they constantly look for the light -FOREVER.  So I figure, since my dog is already crazy for it, might as well keep using it.   Even in the months that we have not used the laser light (darn thing disappears every so often, usually to be found in the 8 year olds "stuff") the dog finds his own amusements.   He loves lightening storms, he stands in the sunroom jumping on every flash of light that crosses his path.   The sun shining through the window the right way will provide hours of entertainment.  Who am I to take his favorite pass time away?  It would be cruel I say.   So for now, I guess my dog has just a little more common with the rest of us as he too has the need for psychiatric help.   

Selective, but not cheap

I think by now, everyone should be feeling the effects of our wonderful failing economy, and if you are one of the few that haven't noticed let us all party at your house.  Come on,  we make good money, we are smack dab in middle class here so tell me how do the rest of you do it?  There is a certain style or status quo that over the years I have noticed while living in Charlotte, NC.   I recently heard it referred to as "the charlotte way".  Every driveway has a SUV or two.   Teenagers have new cars?  Um hello people, you don't give the teenager a new car, even if you have lots of extra cash just sitting around.   

Now, don't look at me and think I'm living the "charlotte way"....oh no not me.   I decided years ago that I was too hick to be yuppified.   I've actually come to enjoy the trill of the bargain hunt.  And for me to pay full price for something it had better be needed and soon....otherwise it stays at the store. 

Of course this year with two over sea trips planned for our daughter, I guess you could say we have over extended ourselves.   I know many of my friends have said....I don't see how you do it.  To be honest most days we are not sure either, but as with everything it comes down to a choice.   We drive OLD cars...hey they work and get us from point A to point B, and the best part....they are payed for.   Our teenager gave up getting a driving permit for another year so she could take the Japanese trip.   We won't be taking a real vacation this year, we are eating out less, and there are very few movies indeed that are worthy of a theater experience these days.

  Now Paul still likes to complain that I'm bargaining him into the poor house, but I say, does he really realize how much all those books I read would cost NEW.    Now some might call me cheap because I refuse to pay $50 or even $30 for a pair of jeans, but I say.....I'm just selective.

And all of you "charlotte way" folks, let me know when you have your next attic or yard sale, I'll buy those $50 jeans your kids have grown tired of for a couple of bucks...cash as always.

Here I am, crazy in Suburbia

I live smack dab in the middle of middle class America suburbia, and I can't decide if that is a good thing or not. There are so many "politics" living with kids in a neighborhood like mine. Anyway, I'm 37 years old, although I did recently testify under oath to being 29. See what lying about your age gets ya. I have been married for almost 20 years, I have 2 daughters age 16 and 8, a dog, 3 gerbils and tank of salt water fish. I'm not currently working, but really want to be, but apparently staying at home with your children for 7 years is a really bad career move. Go figure. I do alot of reading, it helps keep me sane, not really, but at least there are no meds involved yet. I'm starting this blog in part as a way for my 16 year old to keep up with home life while she is away next year. She recently got a scholarship to study in Germany for her 11th grade school year. She is very excited, I'm excited for her, but know she will be so different when she comes home, so I'm a bit sad at the same time. But hey, lets face it, all hope is not loss, I will still have the eight year at home, and a few more years to screw her up before she starts making roaming noises.