My final English paper.

Proposition 8, and Why Gay Marriage Should Be Allowed



Pride Charlotte volunteers Melissa Austin (left) and her daughter Kristen blew bubbles near a protester. “We are here to make it a peaceful event so that everyone can enjoy it,” said Melissa Austin. “We happen to believe everyone has the right to love who they want to love.” (Haight, 2009)




Proposition 8, and Why Gay Marriage Should Be Allowed
By Melissa Austin


Jack Baker, a student at the University of Minnesota, tried to apply for a marriage license in 1970 with his partner, Jim McConnell. They were unsuccessful, and the fight for gays to marry continues on, 40 years later. In 1971, the Minnesota Supreme Court ruled in one of the Baker-McConnell lawsuits that "the institution of marriage is a union of man and woman uniquely involving the procreating and rearing of children within the family is as old as the book of Genesis." (Ericksen, 2005) People are afraid of gay marriage. In the past people feared giving women voting rights and feared interracial marriages. This is a fear people are going to have to overcome, because no group should be treated as second-class citizens as gay couples are currently being treated.

I am a Unitarian Universalist, so I admit to being very liberal in my beliefs and practices. Unitarian Universalism is a theologically diverse religion in which members support one another in the search for truth and meaning. Major concerns of the Unitarian Universalist religion include social justice and service to humanity. It is actually through my church that I first got involved in gay rights. I have worked at PRIDE Charlotte for numerous years, mostly as a Partner in Peace volunteer. I was interviewed at the last pride festival, where more than 10,000 people celebrated Charlotte’s gay and lesbian community. More than 500 people showed up to protest as well. (2009, Haight) My daughter and I donned our bright yellow vests with the rainbow flags on our back and walked about the festival to provide a buffer wherever protestors were voicing unwelcome proclamations. We were not there to counter protest, but hopefully diffuse situations before they could cause any disturbances to the festival. I have met so many wonderful people over the years at this event and plan to continue to volunteer my time with the organization in the future. It is one of the reasons I see gays as individuals and not as a group. It strengthens my belief that every individual should have the right to marry.

Gays have the right to marry I have heard many argue. If they want to marry, they can, just stop being gay. You would be surprised at how many people still believe that gays make a choice to be gay or not. What makes a person gay? “Most geneticists consider sexual orientation a phenotype -- namely, an observable set of properties that varies among individuals. Although physical phenotypes like height and weight are easier to quantify, behavioral phenotypes are intensely studied in animals and humans. Research from many directions leads to a strong conclusion: Human sexual orientation has deep biological roots.” (2010, Hamer) This says to me that they did not choose to be gay, but that it is part of their genetic makeup. We no longer deny rights to those that were born with a different skin color, or the wrong gender. We now need to stop denying rights to those born gay.

Those against gays having the right to marry argue that marriage is sacred, and it would change for all time if we also allowed same sex couples to claim marital status. Let us look at the history of marriage. The idea that marriage is a sacrament and not just a contract can actually be traced back to St. Paul who compared husband and wife to that of Christ and his church. (1901,anonymous) Marriage has changed in many ways over the years. How many of us married our spouse because the in-laws were giving us a couple cows and chickens? Marriage has not always been as it is today, it has changed and evolved, just as we as a society have changed and evolved. Some cultures find it perfectly acceptable to arrange marriages for their daughters. Other cultures believe that a man having multiple wives is acceptable, so there are certainly cultural differences in how marriage is defined. The one thing that seems to have remained consistent throughout the years though is that marriage is a bond that involves responsibility and legalities.

If it is just a legality and another responsibility, why do gays want the right to marry? How would you like to introduce your partner of 30 years as your boyfriend or girlfriend? The term husband or wife tells people that it is a serious commitment, and one to be respected just by the use of the term. One of the biggest decisions anyone makes in life is whom they chose to marry. They are announcing to all around them who they want to connect with and interlace their lives. The title’s wife and husband proclaim a certain bond that to which no other seems equal. Why should we deny this feeling of security and well being to a whole section of the population?

Furthermore, there are also many rights that marriage entitles a spouse. The US government provides over 1000 benefits to legally married couples. These are things that most of us take for granted, but include: medical decisions on behalf of partner, immigration, child custody, joint parenting, burial determination, insurance breaks, automatic inheritance, social security survivor benefits, tax breaks and many more. Civil unions and domestic partnerships, which are available in some states, only offer a fraction of the benefits. Often gay couples have to accept less because one section of the population believes that being gay is wrong, and feel that it is okay to discriminate against them.

As you can see, it is not only an emotional desire to marry that has so many fighting for the right. There is currently the case of Greene verses the County of Sonoma. In this case, two elderly men, ages 77 and 88, had been partners for 20 years and made every effort to protect their legal rights. All legal paperwork was in place as far as the law would allow when tragedy struck. Harold fell down the stairs at home and was taken to the hospital. With all the legal directives in place, Clay should have been consulted in Harold’s care. Not only was he not consulted, health care workers refused to let Clay see Harold. The county went even further and placed both men in separate nursing homes and continued to treat Harold as if he had no family. Clay’s role in Harold’s life was continually ignored. The county went to court to make financial decisions on Harold’s behalf and took everything they owned, auctioned it off, and terminated the lease on the home they had shared. Three months after he was hospitalized Harold died in the nursing home without his partner of 20 years. The only thing that Clay has left of their 20 years together is a photo album that Harold put together for him in his final months. This travesty should never have happened; and if Clay and Harold had been allowed to marry it never would have. (Dennis, 2010)

Another strong argument to allow gay marriage is for the benefit and protection of the family unit. While the opposition may argue that only traditional heterosexual couples should be able to adopt, there really is no evidence that a child raised by a heterosexual couple is any better adjusted, emotionally or physically, than a child raised by a homosexual couple. With the number of single family households rising every year, having two loving parents at home regardless of their sexual orientation would be a plus in my opinion. Furthermore, there are many children waiting for adoption that may never have an opportunity of having a loving family of their own. Many gay couples are willing, financially and emotionally, to adopt these children. Often, gay couples are denied adoptions because their partnership or civil union does not give them the legal right to adopt jointly. If a gay couple adopts, one of them must be the adoptive parent officially. What happens if that parent dies? In that case, child custody does not automatically revert to the other half of that couple, as it would if a traditional married couple had adopted. This child may very well have to suffer the loss of not one parent but two, when legally the state can take them back into the system. The non-custodial parent has no legal rights. This also means that if an adopted child loses the non-custodial adoptive parent, they may have no benefits from that parent’s estate or insurance.

When we talk of gay marriage, it is often the religious right that has the most opposition to it. This is often because their religious beliefs dictate that it is morally wrong to be gay. However, no one is forcing a church, where religious beliefs would be compromised, to marry gay couples. Churches are considered private and can operate as such. Some churches continue to refuse to marry interracial couples or couples where one or both of the couple has been divorced. No one forces them to marry those couples. There are many public avenues available for marriage ceremonies. There are many churches that have open congregations which would not have their beliefs compromised if a gay couple chose to marry there. We cannot continue to use religion as an argument, as the entire world does not share the same religion or beliefs.

Above all, married couples depend on spouses when they are sick, hurt, or aging. They ride with them in the ambulance or stay with them in their hospital rooms. When a life or death decision is needed in these times, a spouse often makes it with no questions asked. Only marriage allows the security that spouses provide one another. Proposition 8 takes away the rights of gay and lesbian couples and treats them differently under the law. One of the basic foundations of our country is its laws of equality. Yet, with many states adding words to their constitutions to specifically restrict a marriage to that of a man and woman, they are discriminating against a whole segment of the population. Proposition 8 means that one class of citizens can enjoy the dignity and responsibility of marriage while another cannot.

One of the biggest contributors to the coalition of conservative groups campaigning for Proposition 8 is the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Not only did they financially contribute to the campaign for Proposition 8, they used scare tactics to influence voters in their literature. For example, voters were told that if Proposition 8 failed, children in public schools will have to be taught that same sex marriage is just as good as traditional marriage. However, in California the majority of schools already teach respect for marriage and committed relationships regardless of sexual orientation. Another often heard argument was that churches might lose their tax-exempt status if they publically oppose gay marriage or refuse to allow gay marriage ceremonies performed in their churches. As previously stated, churches are not forced to go against their religious beliefs on their private property. However, if a church receives revenue for a property from the city or state, so that the property can be used for public use, then the property is not private. Gay marriage ceremonies would legally be allowed there, but no one would force the pastor or preacher to marry a gay couple if it was against their beliefs to do so.

At the end of the day, does a gay couple being granted the freedom to marry take anything away from you, or anyone else? Discrimination is wrong, no matter if it is based on your sexual orientation, your race, or even your gender. It is time for us as Americans to rejoice in our humanity, and to treat each other with respect and dignity.






















References


Anonymous. (1901). American Standard Version of the Holy Bible. New York, New York: Thomas Nelson & Sons.

Dennis, A. N. (2010). Greene vs The County of Sonoma, court document of the filing. Greene Vs the County of Sonoma, spr(8185), 1-58. Retrieved from database.


Ericksen, J. N. (2005). McConnell Vs United States of America. Retrieved Mar. 19, 2010, from United States District Judge, Minnesota, US. Web site: http://www.lawprofessorblogs.com/taxprof/linkdocs/2005-1056-1.pdf.

Haight, K. (2009, 26) 10,000 Celebrate Gay Pride Uptown. Charlotte Observer, b, 1-4.

Hamer, D., & Rosbash, M. (2010, February 23) Genetics and Proposition 8 : Human sexual orientation has deep biological roots. Los Angeles Times, 1-3. Retrieved from database.